


first star i see tonight

by orphan_account



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Bathing/Washing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Sleep Paralysis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:47:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27293662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: beomgyu is awoken from sleep paralysis and faces reality.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	first star i see tonight

Red lights seep into the air through a narrow gap beneath the door. It’s the only thing I know from beyond this room. I yearn to stand up for myself, get out of bed, and leave this place, but I’m forced to lay there, paralyzed. Some seconds later, alarms start blaring around me. Their sound is sweet but ear-splitting in volume. Footsteps thump slowly enough to accompany a serene sonnet, yet my anxiety increases tenfold as I listen. Finally, the door flies open, and in comes a tall figure wearing a smiling mask. Red light overtakes my line of sight.

“Who am I?” it speaks, facing me dead-on. “Take a guess…” 

“You’re nothing.”

“Wrong. Try again.”

“You’re nothing but a nightmare,” I insist. It lets out a sinister chuckle.

“You naive fool, I’m so much more than that! Just ask your friends out there- if you ever see them again, that is.” I clench my fists and glare at the thing. 

“What did you do to them?”

“The same thing I’m going to do to you,” it snaps at me. 

“No…” I plead. It slowly moves one hand towards me, aiming to grasp my neck. The tips of its fingers graze my veins menacingly. Tears fall down my face, my undeniable doom moments away from manifesting. 

The smiling figure decides to cut to the chase and plunges his other hand towards my chest holding a rusty scalpel. I scream out in terror only to find myself sat upright seconds later. Dazed, I squint at my surroundings. A couple of stray tears drip down my cheek, but, this time, it’s out of relief. It’s finally over. Soobin is right there, in front of me. He watches me curiously as I gasp for air. 

“Beomie… Please, listen to me. Everything is okay.” I lower my head, overwhelmed. _It’s okay. You’re okay._ I repeat Soobin’s consolation to myself.

“Hyeong…” It’s not often that I refer to Soobin using honorifics, but it naturally slips off the tongue in that moment.

“Can you get up, Gyu? We can take a walk.” The idea doesn’t sound very appealing, but I agree despite myself. I trust Soobin to do the right thing. It only takes a minute or so for me to carry myself out of bed, down the ladder, and onto the floor. Before I can make any move to leave, Soobin stops me in my tracks by grabbing my waist and holding me still. I freeze up as though it’s an urgent matter. “Just stop here. You’re going to breathe for a moment while I get you some warmer clothes.” 

“Okay, Hyeong,” I comply. 

When he returns, he’s holding a pair of cotton jeans and a baby blue sweater. Soobin may not be an expert in fashion, but he’s an expert on me. The clothes are perfect for me, albeit a little oversized. I raise my arms for him, and he changes me out of my tank top into the sweater. He then kneels down and instructs me to hold his head for stability while he lifts my legs one at a time to put the jeans on me. When all is done, we leave home, hand in hand.

Moonlight paints us cyan beneath the expansive sky. It somewhat nullifies my scarred state. 

“Beomgyu-yah, look where we are,” Soobin says, gesturing towards the sky. “This is real life.” 

“It’s a shame we can’t see the stars,” I mumble in reply. Soobin silently agrees.

“Will you tell me what you’re seeing in your dreams, Angel?” 

“I just…” The words get caught in my throat. I feel oddly guarded, torn between letting go and closing off. Abruptly, I drag Soobin into an alleyway with me and look up at him, frowning. “Will you promise not to judge me?” Soobin smiles.

“I’d never.” 

“Liar.” I’m only half-joking.

“Not tonight,” he assures. It relieves me.

“In my dream, we were separated. I was all alone, and I couldn’t do anything. I just had to lay there for a long time.” Soobin reaches out and intertwines our fingers. Eyeing our point of contact, I squeeze his hands in mine. “And there was some strange creature there. It came up to me and tried to hurt me.” I shiver just thinking about it. “He told me that he hurt you, too.”

“I’m here, Beomgyu.”

“I know, Soobin. I just can’t always tell what’s real and what’s not. It’s so confusing…”

“You just need to be reminded sometimes. It’s not your fault.” 

I feel myself getting teary-eyed. Soobin separates our hands to cup my cheeks insead. 

“I’m so fucking tired,” I confess.

“You deserve better,” Soobin states. “Let Hyeong take care of you when you’re tired, okay?”

“I can’t let you do that,” I protest. 

“Why not, Love?”

“You have enough to deal with already. I don’t want to add to your stress.” Soobin’s expression grows a bit cold. He exhales, wistfully.

“You’re right. Taking care of someone is a great responsibility. It’s one that I’m perfectly capable of taking on. If you’d let me, I’d spare as much of myself as I could for you. Because you’re worth it, believe it or not.”

“Do you mean it?” He drags his hands down my face and situates them on my shoulders. 

“With all my heart.” Quickly, he pulls me into a tight hug. “Listen.” Sure enough, I can hear his heartbeat pounding steadily. We stay that way for a minute or so.

“Can we go home?” I break the silence. 

“Of course.” We return home, hand in hand.

* * *

As soon as we step indoors, we’re met with the sight of Taehyun seated on one of the dining table chairs. He looks up at us at lightning speed.

“You’re back.”

“Why are you still awake, Taehyunie?” I question.

“Can’t sleep…” It’s somewhat out of character for him; Taehyun usually sleeps on time and wakes up earlier than the others. He must be having an off day.

“Hyeong? Can Taehyunie join us tonight?”

Soobin raises his eyebrows at me. “To sleep, I mean,” I clarify.

“I’m fine with that,” Taehyun speaks up from where he’s seated.

“Then, of course he can,” Soobin states. “Kang Taehyun, can you come here for a moment?” Tae nods and approaches the elder. Soobin starts, “Have you been up all night, or did you just wake up?” Taehyun fidgets a bit, but he keeps his composure.

“I woke up when I heard you and Beomgyu-Hyeong leave,” he admits. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyun-ah. We didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“It’s okay. I was kind of worried, though…”

“Beomgyu-Hyeong was just having a bad dream, so we stepped out for some time. He’s doing okay, now, but I was hoping to run a bath for him before bed.” That, I did not know. If I had known, perhaps I would've had second thoughts about asking Taehyun to join us.

“Oh. Good. Thanks for looking out for him, Hyeong,” Tae says. 

“Of course. Now, would you like to join Beomgyu in the bath or help Hyeong?” Rationally, I should be cringing out of embarrassment, but my heart skips a beat at the thought of either possibility. I keep quiet while Taehyun considers his options. 

“I’ll help you.”

“Okay, perfect. Can you get the water running? I’ll be right with you.”

“Sure thing.” At that, Soobin heads to our shared bedroom on his own. 

Realizing that I’ve hardly said a word this whole time, I greet Taehyun with a quick, “Hi.” He chuckles at me, eyes shining as always.

“Hi, Hyeong.” He grabs my hand. “Let’s go!” When we arrive at the bathroom, Taehyun goes for the faucet immediately. The sound of rushing water fills the soundscape, a harsh contrast to the silence that once prevailed; it’s like tearing off a bandage. I feel a bit apologetic towards Yeonjun and Huening Kai for all the noise, but I doubt that they’ll wake up. Taehyun is the only light sleeper among us. I watch Taehyun test the temperature until he’s satisfied and then stop any more water from draining. He turns to me and asks, “How are you?”

“Exhausted,” I answer honestly.

“Then, you sit down. Soobin-Hyeong and I will take care of you.” Reluctantly, I sit at the edge of the bathtub.

“I didn’t plan on giving you any work. You haven’t slept well, either.”

“It’s alright, Hyeong. I just want to spend time with you.” 

“Sweetheart.”

“Of course I am,” he brags. I roll my eyes at him. 

“Of course you are.” 

As if on cue, Soobin enters the room, holding a towel and some fresh clothes. He looks at me.

“Beomgyu, I have a question for you.”

“Yes, Hyeong?”

“Are you okay with one of us keeping you company in here? Or do you want some space?” I really didn’t want to have to say it out loud, but Soobin leaves me no choice.

“I want you here with me.” I avoid eye contact as I say it. 

“Okay. Should I stay or should Tae stay? One of us has to get a bit of food prepared.” 

“You really don’t have to do that for me-”

“You skipped dinner. Don’t think I didn’t notice. It’s fine; I’m craving something sweet, anyways.” I decide not to refuse anymore. I could use some sweetness in my life.

“You should stay, then. Taehyun is a better cook, after all.” 

“Hey! I’m not so bad that I can’t warm up some bread in the microwave. You don’t give me enough credit,” Soobin says, scowling indignantly. Taehyun just laughs at him and steps out.

“Don’t be mean to me, Hyeong. Just help me out of these clothes already.” I send him a suggestive smirk, earning myself a playful smack on the shoulder. 

“You big baby.” Soobin lifts my shirt off for the second time that night. He pulls my pants down, too, and haphazardly places the clothes in the corner of the room to deal with later. He turns the faucet off so that I can comfortably enter the bathwater. While I get in, he takes a seat on the floor right outside the tub to watch over me. I suddenly start feeling a bit emotional again as the tiredness in my bones weighs me down. The weight is so overwhelming that I think I might not ever come back up. I close my eyes for a moment and begin slipping away.

It’s dark. I want to open my eyes back up, but I just can’t. My vision is invaded by bright red lights. I can feel it coming. It’s back. _Soobin... Soobin, where are you? Hyeong!_

“Shhhhh, Beomie, I’m right here. Open your eyes, please.” My eyes shoot open. I groan in frustration. “Deep breaths, Beomgyu.” I match his breathing pattern. “I won’t let anyone hurt you. You hear me? Trust me, Angel. You’ll get through the night.” 

“Come closer, Hyeongie. I want you to hold me…” He gets off of the floor to sit along the bathtub instead. He reaches for my head and runs a hand through my hair. 

“Hyeong is here. Keep breathing. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Mhm.”

“Let’s play a game.”

“What game?”

“We’ll take turns saying sentences to create a story. Sound fun?”

“Alright, let’s try it. You start, since it was your idea.”

“Hmm… Once upon a time, there was a baby bear named Byeol,” he begins.

“Byeol lived all alone on a star.”

“He was lonely at times, but he didn’t want to leave his beloved home.”

“The star was so big, that the little bear could have endless adventures there.”

“But, over time, the bear wanted to share his beautiful star with somebody.”

“So, he decided to send out an invitation to each and every planet in the solar system to see who might come over.” 

“After a week had passed, Byeol received four different letters from various creatures of the solar system who wanted to visit.”

“He was happy to finally have company.”

“When they came to his star, they loved it almost as much as he did.”

“The five of them made great friends.”

“Eventually, his new friends had to return to their respective homes, but they promised to meet again one day.”

“And they did! The end!” 

“So cute!” Soobin covers his face using both hands and laughs with closed eyes. 

Out of instinct, I grab his hand and tug it back onto my head. There's a brief pause before he giggles and ruffles my hair. With his other hand, he swishes the water around me. He cups some water in his hand and pours it over my shoulder. The warmth trails down my back, causing me to shiver. He mimics the water with his index finger, trailing it down my spine and around my waist. He starts tracing shapes into my lower back. I concentrate on the meaningless drawing that he creates. 

I get lost in the silence for some time, but Soobin regains my attention with a soft, “Wake up, Beomgyu-yah.” I open my eyes. “Stand up. I’ll dry you off.” He lets the water start draining while I stand, cold and uncomfortable. Luckily, it doesn’t last long, because Soobin wraps the towel around me, warming me right up. When I’m no longer dripping wet, he ties the towel around my stomach and then holds his arms out, expecting me to jump into his embrace. 

He’s not disappointed when I do just that, letting him lift me up and spin me around a couple of times. I laugh to myself. Soobin loves to baby people, and I’m more than happy to indulge him. When he puts me down, he dresses me up in the clothes he brought earlier. It’s a matching pajama set decorated with baby blue stripes. It looks lovely on me. Soobin gives me a once over with a thoughtful expression on his face. 

“Wait here, Babe.” He pulls open the medicine cabinet and brings out a black hairband. He holds determination in his eyes as he gathers a part of my hair on the top of my head and ties it together. “Apple hair,” he declares, satisfied. I laugh out loud.

“It’s just what I needed, Hyeongie!” We exit the bathroom to meet Taehyun in the kitchen. He’s set up one communal plate filled with different kinds of bread for us to eat from. He, himself, is sitting down with his eyes on his phone screen until we show up.

“Finally.”

“Nice to see you, too, Hyunie.” I stick my tongue out at him. He chooses to ignore my childishness in favor of gesturing towards the food.

“Eat, Hyeongs.”

“Thanks, Taehyun-ah. You've been of great help to me,” Soobin tells him. I take a seat and grab a classic red bean filled bun. Soobin takes his pick and starts eating right away. The atmosphere grows very tranquil; No one makes a sound save for Kang Taehyun’s unmindful humming in the background.

When I’m finished eating the rest of my share of the food, I start to stand up. Soobin watches me rise.

“Wait on the bottom bunk for me, okay?”

“Okay,” I agree. I walk to our room, stopping at the bathroom first to brush my teeth before bedtime. Once I’m settled down, I wait. Soobin takes longer than I anticipated, making me wonder what he might be doing. However, he eventually walks in, looking ready for bed himself. 

“You’ve had a long day, haven’t you, Baby?” He slips under the covers with me.

“Mm…”

“Go to sleep.” I pout up at him.

“What if it comes back for me?”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll protect you at all costs.”

“Okay, Hyeong.” I cuddle closer into him, and, when I fall asleep, I see stars in my dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading~ let me know what you think.


End file.
